Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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