Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
