I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Is it because I queefed?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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