So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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