shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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