You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
