i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
