I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
