I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I forgot how hot balto sounded
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
