Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
