i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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