I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
