Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
