we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
