the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
His hands were made for my vagina.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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