did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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