You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
