yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's never too late to be topless.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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