Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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