Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
