I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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