I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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