Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
