i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
