My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
