He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
