I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
And then my night got REAL pukey
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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