I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
