My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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