Everything about him screamed your future.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
