Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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