Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
