I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
