what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
