I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
