If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
