bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
