So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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