I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
