I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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