On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Oh god it's open bar.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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