break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
