I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
