There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Someone signed my nipple.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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