dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
