don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
