why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
