i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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