I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
the raccoons are back...
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