Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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